benedictcumberbatch:

221bec:

professionalmisandrist:

What if condoms had temporary tattoos on the inside like you rolled off the condom and there was a picture of a dinosaur on your dick

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(Source: acoolshark, via bludgeoner)

Tumblr Code.

informercials:

amlsh:

geekishchic:

If I ever see any of you in public, the code is “i fill my ass with orange juice”

that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything

I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person

image

must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!

Remember the answer is: ”17 cocks”

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always reblog tumblr identification

this post makes me want to gouge my eyes out

im laughins so hard who changed it

(Source: aru, via gayrights101)

the-anal-rapist:

*purposely drop something in front of my crush*

image

(via seedy)

basedpidgeot:

basedpidgeot:

i epilated my leg today in college because everyone was saying it was painful and my leg looks weird now but damn. its smooth as hell

honestly, i have not stopped stroking this patch of beautiful smoothness on my leg. i can see why people do this now

(via lindsaylohoean)

arrogantdad:

my mom told me that in high school she use to get boyfriends at the beginning of February so they had enough time to get her a valentines day gift and then break up with them the day after and just keep the gift and one day she told her parents about it and they made her keep her boyfriend at least until the end of February and so she did and that boy is now my dad

(via disagreed)

brilliances:

When the Fault in Our Stars movie comes out, I swear we can probably watch most of the movie in gifs.

(via crystallized-teardrops)

seduce-reuse-recycle:

ladysharkbait:

spiritofthemamabear:

kiss—my—fat—sass:

goodbye-old-friend:

today i found out that apparently if you kill someone in international waters on an unregistered boat then throw the body overboard they can’t trace it back to any one legal system so you can’t be prosecuted for their murder

Good to know

tumblr literally teaches you how to get away with murder

*saved in bookmarks*

(Source: wnterfelling, via diaryofamadblackblogger)